Animal Farm meets Animal House

by Jonathan Woods

” The HOGS are coming August 26th 2022: the new pulp-noir novel from gonzo writer, Jonathan Woods “

Ray Puzo, ex-Special Forces sniper, is hired to rid the vast Cross cattle ranch in South Texas of its feral hog problem. Unbeknownst to Ray when he takes the job, because of radiation, and other pollution, the hogs have become super-brainy. Faced with extinction, the hogs organize and fight back. Humans and feral hogs face off in an epic battle between good and evil—but who is good and who is evil is an open question.Besides leading the charge against the hog uprising, Ray must navigate the Byzantine politics of the ranch’s eccentric aristocracy and peasantry, including:

  • Mrs. Amanda Cross, reptilian ranch matriarch;
  • Ned Cross, her queer son;
  • Loretta Cross, her crackpot nympho daughter;
  • Old man Cross, paralyzed by a bullet through his spine;
  • And a supporting cast of cowpokes, vaqueros, schemers, ne’er-do-wells and slimeballs.
Part pulp noir, part dystopian gothic western, part satiric magic realism antiwar sex farce, Hog Wild is the illegitimate offspring of a ménage à trois among Orwell’s Animal Farm, George Miller’s The Road Warrior and Verna Bloom of Animal House and High Plains Drifter fame.

About the Author

Jonathan Woods divides his time between Key West, FL and Dallas, TX.
Jonathan Woods holds degrees from McGill University, New England School of Law and New York University School of Law. For many years he practiced law for a multi-national high-tech company.
Jonathan’s stories have appeared in 3:AM Magazine, Dogmatika, Plots with Guns, Pulp Pusher, Thuglit and other web-based literary magazines. He studied writing at Southern Methodist University and attended Bread Loaf, Sewanee, Zoetrope: All-Story and Sirenland writers’ conferences.
Jonathan is married to the painter Dahlia Woods. When not writing or painting, they travel, most often to Italy and Mexico.

Advance Praise for Hog Wild

“Men are pigs and pigs are men in Jonathan Woods’ rambunctiously clever romp of a novel, Hog Wild. Set on a vast cattle ranch in the badlands of South Texas, this is dystopian pulp-noir to smack your lips over.”

—- Vicki Hendricks, Edgar Award-finalist and author of Cruel Poetry, Miami Purity, Iguana Love and Voluntary Madness

“Hog Wild is a wild glorious ride and a fantastic feast of storytelling…Mixing the gothic with the surreal, the western with pulp, it all comes together to make a wondrous read. Imagine William Golding through Orwell filtered by Elmore Leonard, you’d have this terrific book.”

—Ken Bruen, award-winning author of London Boulevard, Blitz and the Jack Taylor crime novels, including most recently A Belfast Epiphany

“I’ve been reading Jonathan Woods’ noir crime stories since we met at Bread Loaf in 2005 and was glad to plunge into the insane world of his newest, Hog Wild. It’s a romp of a novel, extremely funny, bizarre, unpredictable, and obviously the product of a deranged imagination, which is a very good thing in this case!”

—Jay Parini, English and Creative Writing Professor at Middlebury College and author of Borges and Me, The Last Station and Robert Frost, a Life

“Jonathan Woods’ Hog Wild is dark, feral fun. A ribald epic, an acid western, a knife-thrust noir, a farce… It’s many things but chiefly it’s a flat out good time.”

—William Boyle, author of A Friend Is a Gift You Give Yourself and Shoot the Moonlight Out

“Somewhere on the spectrum between Chaucer and Mickey Spillane, Jonathan Woods’ Hog Wild is a deliciously bawdy frolic, drunk on its own exuberant language, and fearless to tread anywhere and everywhere.”

—Madison Smartt Bell, English and Creative Writing Professor at Gaucher College, National Book Award and PEN/Faulkner Award finalist and author of All Souls’ Rising, Straight Cut and Doctor Sleep

“Jonathan Woods’s imagination must be a loud, inspiring, and wonderful place. The evidence: Hog Wild, a startling book that defies classification as it brilliantly skews and skewers crime genre convention. You won’t be disappointed and you’ll be more than a little surprised.”

—Ivy Pochoda, author of These Women and Wonder Valley

“If George Orwell had taken to drinking mezcal with William Burroughs from dusk to dawn while hunkered down in a Texas roadside motel, he might have written something like Jonathan Woods’ Hog Wild. A brilliant combination of neo-noir tropes with something far more imaginative and bizarre. When I die, I want Woods to write my personal hell obituary.”

—Jon Bassoff, author of Captain Clive’s Dreamworld, Factory Town and The Drive-Thru Crematorium

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